Oh Poor Hancock...My Rant, and Review

Poor poor Hancock. Why all the bad rap? A 36% on Rottentomatoes?! Really? This film proves my theory of “If this critic hated it, it HAS to be bad!!!” Well, it’s not great. And, for the past two weeks, it has rained shit all over the new Will Smith film, so after seeing it, seriously….what the hell was everyone expecting? So, my basic 3 steps on how Hancock will NEVER get an “A Rating” from anyone.

1) Will Smith – yup, I said it. Plays the same role in every film. This was a gimmie.
2) Written by television screenwriters and producers, also TV directing from time to time. So, this means…predictable dialogue with shorter scenes, which means, a shorter film with bad character development.
3) Superhero films equal expectations. Thanks Marvel Studios, but it’s true.

So, why is Hancock getting a better rating from me than EVERY one else? Like I said, it’s not great. Is it good? To be honest, with those three reasons, then too many holes in the films plot, and a twist so predictable (M. Night your off the hook), this film was just instant eye candy. The 92 minute self absorbed alcoholic superhero film felt like an hour, so that gets a point. There were at least 12 kids in this theater out of 20 people in the seating room, and the film (for a superhero flick) threw shit, asshole, and fuck around like it was a 18 inning Houston Astros game. That gets a bigger point. Decent EFX. Plus, I was going to see Journey To the Center Of the World in 3D, but the theater didn’t have it in 3D, so we went to Hancock. NO EXPECTATIONS.
The film was never touched by MARVEL, so really, there was a plus there again. Was it targeting for kids? It has to be. No matter what Superhero film coming out right now, it’s targeted towards kids. Summer…schools out. Superhero means kids. Hancock can have his second half of his name hanging out and kids are in the seats, SUPERHEROS!!!
So for all of those who will not go see Hancock, GOOD! Perfect! Don’t! But for those who did and need some kind of explanation of why this film was SO BAD. It’s HANCOCK! Get over it. Go see The Dark Knight in 6 days. If I have to hear someone tell me Hancock was the worst film this year, you’re an idiot. Seriously!
So what did I give Hancock? Rating: C+